Lust for Freedom
by Jude1
Summary: Aeryn leaves Crichton and its up to him and the crew of moya to get her back (complete)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I only own the idea and the story. Henson own Farscape and the characters. Except Neeha who is my creation!  
  
D'argo laid a hand on Crichton's shoulder; he could see that Crichton needed to talk. Whether he would talk was another matter. "Maybe you should go and talk to her. It may help." He said, pouring himself and John a raslack from the silver tankard.  
  
John Crichton shook his head sadly and downed it quickly, "I doubt it, ever since this whole thing happened she has hardly spoken a word to anyone. At night when I try and hold her...she just stiffens or pulls away like my touch burns her...she has hardly eaten in days." He paused. "It's like she's a different person...this hasn't only affected her, it's affected us all...I am trying to be strong for the both of us but..." he looked at D'argo, "I can't help crying sometimes...and she doesn't seem to care that it hurt me...more than anything."  
  
"I do understand John. It was the same with Lo'laan and myself. It was weekens before she even looked at me no matter what I tried. You know Aeryn takes time but I still think it would be best if you at least try talking to her. Here...take her some food," he said, giving John a tray with three or four small dishes of food on it. "Noranti made it especially. It should do her good."  
  
"Thanks D." John gave a slight smile as he took the tray from D'argo and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let's hope you're right Big Guy."  
  
Crichton approached his quarters, and pressed his palm to the door release. Pain stabbed at him as he saw Aeryn hugging her knees with her back pressed against the wall, her dark hair hung limply around her shoulders and down her back. "How are you feeling now?" he asked softly. He could no longer see the strong Aeryn he once knew, but a weaker and emotional one. He just wished that she would open up and talk to him. But talking to Aeryn when she was like this was like talking to a brick wall.  
  
Aeryn looked up at him briefly, her grey eyes no longer shining the way the used to; before looking away again. She didn't reply.  
  
"I...uh...thought you might like something to eat. You know...to keep your strength up?" John said approaching his mate slowly, "I'll leave it here for you okay?" he said placing it on the bed.  
  
"John. I'm not hungry," Aeryn replied, pushing the food away. She wondered why he wouldn't understand that she didn't want to talk or eat. She just wanted time alone to get her head together and maybe to understand why what happened had happened. She thought maybe Crichton would take the hint when she turned away from him at night, or stiffened when he touched her, but as yet it proved pointless. She had married him and now he acted like he owned her, when he had told her nothing would change between them.  
  
"Come on baby...you have to eat something." He balanced himself in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to gage her mood, but he knew it was pointless. He could never really tell what she was feeling, it was just guessing. "Please?" he asked.  
  
Aeryn's arm shot out giving John a Pantak jab, "I said, I'm not hungry!" she hissed, before getting up and storming out of their quarters. Crichton had pushed her too far. She headed to her own old quarters, and grabbed her bag filling it with clothing and possessions. She pulled her hair back into a tight braid and looked at herself in a mirror. "Pull yourself together Aeryn," she muttered to herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath telling herself she could do this. "Pilot! Is my Prowler ready for launch?" She asked as calmly as she could so she didn't raise suspicion.  
  
"Yes Officer Sun, why?" Pilot replied.  
  
"Thank you." She said simply. "I'd prefer it if you didn't inform the others where I am going."  
  
"Of course Aeryn."  
  
She glanced down at her left hand and the engagement and wedding rings on her fingers. She sighed sadly and pulled them off, marvelling for one more time at the way they sparkled in the light. "I'm sorry John Crichton," she said, leaving them on a table with a note scrawled in Sebacean, before heading to the maintenance bay where her Prowler was held. She threw her bag into the cockpit and grabbed some weapons; a pulse rifle, a knife and a dozen spare chakkan oil cartridges. She hadn't noticed Chiana watching her every move.  
  
"Hey Aeryn... you and Crichton taking some planet leave?" she asked, "You know after...well...you should take a break or something. D'argo says these things happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. It happened to him and Lo'Laan!" she said, trying to be sympathetic.  
  
Aeryn turned and glared at the grey Nebari girl, "Stay out of it." She spat.  
  
Chiana saw anger creeping in as Aeryn's glare turned icy, "You're leaving John!" she said in disbelief. But before Chiana had a chance to inform the rest of the crew, Aeryn inflicted another Pantak jab, knocking Chiana out, "I warned you to stay out of it." She was angry. Very angry. She tied Chiana up, and gagged her, knowing full well that when she came round, Chiana wouldn't be able to communicate with John. John would probably think that instead of leaving Moya, she had just escaped to the lower decks to be alone. Silently she climbed into her Prowler, closed the canopy and switched on the engines. Manoeuvring the Prowler out of the maintenance bay, she engaging the thrusters sped out of the hangar and away from Moya.

* * *

John opened his eyes, "I just wish..." Damn. He thought as he realised he was lying on his back. "Damn it woman...you could of just told me to get lost," he said to himself. Half of him felt angry, the other half was concerned. Getting up he sat on the marital bed and put his head in his hands. "It's not your fault Aeryn," he whispered sadly. "If anything its mine...I should of..." he paused and bit his thumb. He knew instantly where she would be. Where she normally was when she wanted to be alone. "Aeryn?" he asked, entering her dark quarters. "Honey are you in here?" He looked around and a shimmer caught his eye. He walked over to the table and found the engagement ring and wedding ring with a note on paper torn out of his note book and written in Sebacean. "She's just pissed at me." He told himself. "She did this before..." he said, hoping that his own words would reassure his nagging subconscious. He hit his comms, "D'argo, Chiana...can you guys meet me in command."  
  
D'argo arrived in command first followed by John. "Where's Chi?" John asked.  
  
"I am unsure John. She hasn't been answering her comms for the past half arn."  
  
"Chi? Where the hell are you?" John yelled into his comms.  
  
"Well can we start without her?"  
  
John shook his head, "Not really...I was hoping that Chi could read this." But in truth he didn't really need to know what it said. He could probably guess.  
  
"Uh, what is it John?" D'argo asked taking the paper from his hand.  
  
"It's a note from Aeryn... I found it in her quarters along with these..." John held out his hand revealing the rings, "The note is in Sebacean..." he hung his head. "I just need to know what it says."  
  
Rygel joined them in command, "So the Peacekeeper has finally gone then? She must be fed up with your smell."  
  
John grabbed Rygel from his throne sled and held him by his robes, "What are you talking about Sparky." He asked, looking into Rygel's eyes.  
  
He gave a chuckle, "Perhaps you would be best off asking Chiana"  
  
"Talk buckwheat." John said bitterly, "What do you know about where Aeryn has gone?"  
  
"Only that she left Chiana tied up in maintenance bay three."  
  
John placed Rygel back in his throne sled, "Thanks Guido!" he said patting him on his head before running out of command followed by D'argo. He knew Aeryn was feeling a little moody, but full scale PK anger had set in she was going to be unpredictable and potentially dangerous. He didn't want to hurt Aeryn, so he picked up a stasis gun he had procured somehow. She needed to rest and the only way he was going to get her to, is if she was in stasis for a while. They found Chiana with her hands and feet bound tightly to each other and her mouth gagged tightly.  
  
"Where the frell were you?" Chiana snapped as John removed the gag from her mouth, "I've been tied up for half an arn!"  
  
"Where's Aeryn?" John asked as he finished loosening the bonds.  
  
"Great! I've been tied up here for ages and it's 'Where's Aeryn?' not 'Are you okay Chiana?' or 'Did she hurt you?'" Chiana moaned.  
  
"Look, just tell me where Aeryn is okay?" John pleaded.  
  
"She's gone...she left in her prowler about three quarters of an arn ago..." she replied, "Look, I would of told you...if that tralk hadn't tied me up."  
  
John blinked back the tears that began to form in his eyes as his worst fears came true, "No..." he whispered in quiet denial, ignoring the tralk comment. But denial soon gave way to anger, "Pilot! Why didn't you tell me Aeryn had left?!"  
  
Pilot's holographic image flickered onto the clamshell, "I'm sorry Commander, but Officer Sun requested that none of you should be informed of her absence."  
  
"You know how she's been lately! You must have known..." John realised he was shouting and took some deep breaths to calm down. He chewed his thumb slightly, "Look I'm sorry Pilot. We are just under a lot of stress...what with Aeryn..." his voice trailed off. "Can you run a long range scan for me please?"  
  
Pilot sighed, "I'm sorry, but she is no longer on Moya's senses. We could however plot her trajectory and follow it."  
  
"Do it Pilot." John sighed. He secretly cursed himself for pestering her when he could see she wanted to be alone. Why couldn't he have realised? But it was too late for recriminations now. It had happened and it couldn't be changed. The only thing left to do was to go after her and bring her back home. 


	2. Chapter 2

Aeryn had been travelling for what seemed like days. She was tired and in serious need of nourishment. Scanning the sensors on her Prowler cockpit, she found a small inhabited planet not far off with communications that suggested they welcomed visitors and had accommodation. Heading into planetary orbit, she input the given co-ordinates for the landing trajectory.  
  
The planet was inhabited with many different species, and tall glass high- rise buildings dominated the skyline, wide enough apart to allow for heavy air traffic. Thankfully for Aeryn the climate was cool, and the distant sun failed to produce much heat.  
  
"'ow can I 'elp yaz?" asked a rather scrawny green alien, as Aeryn stepped out of the cockpit, "youz a Peackeeper ain'tcha?"  
  
Aeryn shook her head. "Ex-Peackeeper. I don't suppose you could tell me where I could find some accommodation?" she asked.  
  
The green alien studied her. Its red eyes barely blinking, "Feh someone such as yaself, yeh gonna want somthin' a bit better then the usual lot we gets around ere'... ya wanna go dahan there... it's the biggun at the end...its'a real classy joint. It'sa bar 'n all!" it said placing a clawed hand on her shoulder.  
  
Aeryn wriggled free, "How much do they charge?"  
  
The alien smiled, "Feh youz? Abhat...I dunno... twenny Kretmas!"  
  
"I was hoping if anyone asked if you had seen me, you could be discrete?" she asked, giving the alien five Kretmas.  
  
"Yeah 'course I will!" it winked, glad of the extra currency.  
  
Aeryn thanked the strange alien, and wandered down the bustling streets that were for commerce. She took the time to browse the many weapon stalls that lined the long road. She found the bar pretty easily. It wasn't hard to miss. Wandering over the bar she dropped her bag at her feet and took a seat on the clear plastic bar stool. "I'll have a fellip nectar," she asked, leaning on the glass bar. The lighting which was 'down to mood lighting' as Crichton would say; made her eyes feel heavy which didn't help her fatigue much.  
  
The alien at the bar handed her the bottle of blue liquid, "That'll be three Kretmas please."  
  
Aeryn handed the alien the currency, and swallowed some of the bitter liquid. It gave her an instant boost. In a way she was glad to be free, and she quite enjoyed just sitting alone watching people drinking, couples fighting over stupid things, and a drunken alien being thrown out. She wondered for a microt what kind of trouble they would be in if Rygel, Chiana, Crichton and the others were here. Probably on the wrong side of a weapon she thought. After the fifth fellip nectar, she had become so lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice a dark figure standing next to her.  
  
"Would you object to me buying you a drink?"  
  
Aeryn swung around to face the source of the voice and nearly choked on her fellip nectar. Standing beside her was none other than Captain Bilar Crais. "FRELL ME DEAD! You're not dead!" she exclaimed, in a mixture of shock and amazement that Crais had survived the Starburst in the Command Carrier.

* * *

  
  
John lay on his bed facing the ceiling. They had been searching for any sign of Aeryn or her Prowler for at least three solar days without any luck, and he was growing impatient. He was fed up with waking up from nightmares about what could have happened to her or what could happen, when all he wanted was to have her back safe in his arms. He blamed himself. If he had been there... but his trail of thought was cut short when Pilot's voice crackled over the comms. "Crichton... according to the communications from this system we are passing through, a Prowler landed on the centre planet today, and a female Sebacean has been seen in the centre of the trading complex"  
  
"Great work Pilot! Can you have a transport pod ready? I'm gonna get my girl back." John was ecstatic, but the question was would she ever forgive him and would she ever come back to him. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind for the moment and began on formulating a plan. With any luck he could just use the stasis gun, drag her back to Moya and lock her in one of the cells until she had calmed down a little. In reality he knew that would probably not be the case. She was pissed at him, pissed at everyone and they attempts to understand what was wrong. He figured she could and probably would kill him if he pissed her off any more than he already had. He asked for the rest of the crew to meet him in the centre chamber before racing down there himself.  
  
D'argo was concerned. "John, what's wrong,"  
  
He smiled up at his Luxan friend, "Pilot believes he has located Aeryn on the centre planet of this system. Pilot is going to give me the co- ordinates, and I'm gonna go down there and get her."  
  
"And what if she does not come freely?" D'argo asked.  
  
John held up the stasis pistol. "Then I'll bring her back the other way..."  
  
D'argo sighed, but he had no other choice than to go along with it. It was Crichton who handed himself over to Scorpius to get his son back, and now Crichton needed his help to get his wife back. "I will assist you."  
  
"So will I." said Chiana appearing at the door.  
  
Pilot's image flickered onto the clamshell. "The transport pod is prepared for you to leave. I will send the coordinates once you have left Moya."  
  
"Let's go..." John said, holstering Winona and the stasis pistol.

* * *

  
  
Aeryn smiled at Crais. "So you changed Talyn's energy signature so Moya couldn't detect you?" She was glad to see Crais was still alive and even more pleased that Talyn was too. She listened intently as Crais described how he and Talyn had survived and how much Talyn had grown. They had moved to a booth at the back of the bar. It was quiet and dark, you could see everyone, but they couldn't see you. Aeryn was glad of this. There was no way she wanted to be seen on this planet, but hoped if Crichton somehow managed to find it, she would be long gone, preferably on Talyn.  
  
"After the Starburst in the Command Carrier, we were fortunate to live..." he paused and looked into Aeryn's eyes. "Talyn and I thought it best, if you all thought we were dead, the Peacekeepers would then hopefully come to the same conclusion..."  
  
"But that doesn't explain why you are here." Aeryn replied, resting her head on one hand.  
  
"We are only here for a few arns...just to stock up on supplies. We will be leaving shortly. Thank you for the drink Aeryn," he said getting up to leave.  
  
Aeryn grabbed his gloved hand to stop him from leaving, "Take me with you..." she pleaded.  
  
Crais looked at Aeryn with a slight smile and sat back down, "No...I cannot do that...you belong with Crichton."  
  
"I left him," she blurted out.  
  
"You left your husband?" Crais questioned. In truth Crais wanted Aeryn to go with him. He had longed for her to be with him and Talyn since they were first joined. In truth, he had fallen in love with her, but was never able to tell her because of her intimate relationship for John. "Why?"  
  
Aeryn's eyes watered at the memory she had tried so hard to forget. "I...I can't tell you..."  
  
Sensing her pain, Crais took her hand in his, "I am no longer a Peacekeeper and I...like you have learnt to feel, to care and to love." He placed a hand on her cheek just as she did on the Command Carrier. "Please?"  
  
Aeryn took a sip of her Raslak and took a breath to compose herself. "It started on the Command Carrier that day..." she paused and took another sip from the glass. "I went to the medical bay...to confirm something..." She paused and looked into Crais' eyes, and in return he gave her hand a squeeze of support. "I found out I was pregnant..."  
  
"Pregnant?"  
  
Aeryn smiled weakly. "Yes. Anyway...after destroying the Command Carrier, I left John and I went in search of the Peacekeeper resistance. Anyway...I came back, and the cycle went on. I went to Crichton's home planet, and then after many monens we got back together." She took a breath and looked at her hand as if the wedding rings were still there and then looked at Crais. "Look, can we do this somewhere else?"  
  
"Of course..." Crais replied. "We can continue this in my quarters on Talyn. As I have said he has grown a lot now... there is room for your Prowler even!"

* * *

  
  
"'ello, 'ow can I 'elp yaz?" asked the same rather scrawny green alien.  
  
"You haven't seen a Sebacean woman? Beautiful grey eyes and long black hair?" John asked.  
  
The alien eyed him wearily. He wasn't going to give any information out. That is without currency. "Whasit to youz?"  
  
"She's my wife..." John replied, "Look if you know anything, I will give you five Kretmas!"  
  
"Five eh?" The green alien said with a sly smile, knowing he was paid five to keep her whereabouts a secret.  
  
John was irritated but if this alien knew something he wanted to know. "Okay. Ten!" He offered.  
  
"Ya wanna go dahan there... I's the bar on the end." The alien was easily brought.  
  
John handed the currency to the green alien and thanked him. "D'argo...the bar down the end of the complex...Aeryn's been seen there!" John broke into a run, with the others following behind. He burst into the bar and scanned the booths and the bar. After a few minutes of looking his heart sank, there was no sign of her. He walked over to the bar and sat down, "Give me a strong Raslak."  
  
"Looks like you've had a bad day" the Sebacean bar man said.  
  
"You could say that..." he replied, swallowing the warm liquid rapidly. "Say, you haven't seen a Sebacean woman...dark hair, grey eyes?"  
  
The bar man looked at John, "Yeah...you just missed her...went off with this other Sebacean guy... is she your mate?"  
  
John nodded, "My wife." He turned away sadly, looked at D'argo and Chiana and shook his head. "She's gone...I've lost her." He said, his eyes watering. "What have I done?" Inside he was kicking himself. He knew the reason she had left was because of him and he hated himself for it.  
  
Chiana hugged him sympathetically, "Don't worry old man! We'll find her!"

* * *

Aeryn was back on Talyn and seated on Crais' bed in his quarters. She was amazed at how much Talyn had grown, and how Crais had managed to help him overcome his behaviour problem.  
  
"Here." Crais' said giving Aeryn a very strong, hot Raslak. "So you were saying...you and Crichton got back together?"  
  
Aeryn nodded, "And soon after I was kidnapped and held prisoner on a Scarren freighter. They found out I was pregnant and the things I went through there...well anyway, Crichton rescued me and we headed to Katratzi...its a long story, but in the end we destroyed the frelling place, and then had to close the wormhole back to Earth." Aeryn took another sip of her Raslak, "And then on Qujaga well we were neutralized then reassembled."  
  
Crais looked more than a little confused, "It still doesn't explain why you left Crichton does it?"  
  
Aeryn shut her eyes, dredging up the painful truth for what she hoped would be the last time. "No it doesn't...After Qujaga, Crichton and I married, and everything for us was going so well. We were happy, looking forward to the birth of our first child...then the a few weekens ago..." her eyes began to water, "I was feeling unwell...Crichton and the others were going down to the commerce planet we had found. I asked him to stay with me, I begged him...even pleaded with him, but he was insistent and said he had to get his frelling module seen too and there was a mechanic on the planet that would do it. He just said I'd feel better if I slept for a while. I really wasn't in the mood for arguing as I was feeling hot and faint..." She looked at Crais and seeing his eyes also start to water, she let the tears flow, "I let him go...and while he was gone... I...we...I miscarried. Crais...it was awful...I tried to com him but he wouldn't let me say anything, he just answered saying get some rest...I was alone...I remember there was so much blood...and seeing the tiny body...the heat delirium overtook and I passed out."  
  
Crais and pulled her into his chest, and feeling her violent sobs, he kissed her head gently. "Its okay..." he reassured.  
  
Aeryn shook her head, "No its not...when I came round...John was upset. He asked me why I didn't make him stay when I was feeling unwell...blamed me for not resting when he told me too...and I can't forgive him as I know I tried to make him stay...and now he wonders why I want to be alone...why I don't want to be touched," her mood had turned from tearful to angry. "I couldn't take it today...I just had to get away..."  
  
Crais turned Aeryn's head to face him. Gently and tenderly as he could he kissed her. Aeryn pulled away slightly and studied him. He had changed and she had now seen a totally different side from the Peacekeeper Captain she once knew. His brown eyes were no longer cold and hard, but had warmed and were full of compassion. She let go of her fears, the bad memories, and fell into a passionate kiss. Slowly they undressed each other, kissing each bare patch of skin revealed. They were no longer in control, and they let there senses guide them into sensual lovemaking. 


	3. Chapter 3

"I never recreated with Crais, not that it should matter..."  
  
The words echoed through Aeryn's mind as she lay in her lover's arms. No. Lover was the wrong word. She wondered what had possessed her to recreate with Crais in the first place. Perhaps it was the countless amounts of fellip nectar and raslak that had impaired her judgement, or maybe it was the emotion of her confession? She sat up and looked down at him asleep beside her. He looked so beautiful in his sleep, with his black hair spread across the pillow. She was surprised at how gentle he was. He made sure every moment was as pleasurable as possible for her, even if she had called him John once or twice. And he had finally confessed his true feelings for her. He admitted he loved her, knowing that she probably would never feel the same way. She cringed slightly as a warm hand ran across her back up to her shoulder. "Aeryn..."  
  
She turned her head slightly to look at him, "Crais..." she shook her head, "Last night should not have happened."  
  
Her words cut through him like a knife. He never realised how much he could love one woman, and he had hoped that she would love him back. He pulled her down so she lay beneath him. Brushing her hair back from her face he kissed her deeply, "But it did happen Aeryn, and it was wonderful. You do not know how long I have desired to make love with you." Crais took her hands and kissed them lightly. He now no longer cared that she didn't love him. He loved her and she was on Talyn. That was enough.  
  
"Make love?" she replied coldly, snatching her hands away. "Crais... I left John because I couldn't handle seeing him, being reminded everyday that our child died and that in a brief microt he blamed me. It happened because I was intoxicated and I needed some comfort." She pushed Crais off and gathering up her scattered clothes, dressed quickly. "Last night... it meant nothing. It was just recreation okay?" she said bitterly as she finished tying her hair back.  
  
"Aeryn... please stay. If you want, we can forget this happened."  
  
Aeryn glared at him, "Stay with you? After what happened between us?" She shook her head. "No... Look just drop me off at an inhabited planet at the next system," I'll find my way from there.

* * *

John sat at a viewing window and stared out at the distant stars and swirling galaxies. He marvelled at the many colours that stood out in the darkness. If only he could go back and change things. He felt like an idiot, and now because of his actions, she had gone again. The questions spun round in his head. The Why's and the what if's. "You can't change your past. You just have to look to the future" he told himself.  
  
"Looks like you need to talk." D'argo said taking a seat next to him. "Tell me what really happened. Its not just because she lost your child is it?"  
  
John shook his head sadly, "D'argo, I'm an idiot. I did some things...said some things I shouldn't have..."  
  
"We all do that Crichton...even I have made mistakes I wish I could change."  
  
"You remember the morning...when we were all going down to the commerce planet?"  
  
D'argo nodded, "Aeryn felt unwell and asked you to stay..."  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears, "I just thought it was morning sickness... she had the same symptoms as she normally had so I thought nothing of it and just told her to rest...and when she commed me..."  
  
"When she commed you, you were at the wrong end of a weapon...you couldn't do much at that point...and when you tried to comm her after, there was no answer..." D'argo tried to reassure his friend.  
  
"Because she was just lying there unconscious...I suppose grief made me blame her for not making me stay when I should have...damn it, no wonder she hates me...I tried to apologize afterwards, but I the damage was done. I keep thinking what if...what if I could just turn back the clock and have stayed with her when she asked me...then she...she wouldn't have had to go through that on her own. I tried to talk to her...she just doesn't want to listen and I don't blame her..." he let his tears fall, "If she doesn't want me back, and she tells me that, then I know I deserve it."  
  
"I cannot give you advice for that my friend. Perhaps when we find Aeryn you should tell her what you just told me." D'argo replied.  
  
John nodded silently. When the found her? It was beginning to look like If the found her.  
  
"Captain..." Pilot asked.  
  
"Yes pilot?" replied D'argo.  
  
"I cannot seem to explain this...but Moya has just seen Talyn. The sensors show an unknown vessel, but Moya is confident that it is her son and she wishes to follow."  
  
"D'argo...this means Crais is alive..." John said, a plan forming in his mind. "Maybe if we make contact, then Crais will help us try and find Aeryn." He knew Crais would help. He would do anything for Aeryn. 


	4. Chapter 4

Aeryn lay sleeping in her old quarters on Talyn. She had been restless all night, and it didn't help that Moya was hot on their tail and had been for the past two solar days. Even a starburst still hadn't managed to shake Moya, and Aeryn was increasingly worried what would happen if Moya caught up with her son.

* * *

"Hey! Get back here!" John laughed.Aeryn stood in the doorway of their quarters and smiled deviously. "What if I don't want to?" she asked.  
  
"That's simple," he replied. "I will have to come over there and get you." He walked towards here with a glint in his eye, but Aeryn was ready for him. As he pounced she dodged out of his way.  
  
"Come on now Crichton," she teased, "You will have to do a lot better than that." And with a slight laugh she ran off down the passageway, with John following behind.  
  
"I will catch you...and when I do you are gonna be in trouble."  
  
Aeryn stopped and turned around. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head, "No. You will be in more trouble."  
  
"Yeah? I'd like to see that!" John replied, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"You would?" she asked. John nodded in reply as she sauntered over to him. "What if I let you catch me?" she said softly.  
  
"The same thing will happen...what of I let you catch me?"  
  
Aeryn smiled, "Why don't you find out?"  
  
With a cheeky smile, John turned around and ran back down the passageway that led to the quarters they now shared on Talyn. "When the cats away, the mice will play!" John had said to Aeryn, referring to Crais who had gone down to the commerce planet with Stark and Rygel, leaving he and Aeryn with the ship to themselves.  
  
Aeryn soon caught up with him and had him trapped in a corner of their quarters. "Give up now John, while you still can." She smiled slightly, and John sprang forward. Aeryn jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his waist, "I NEVER give up!" he replied, throwing her on their bed. He smiled down at her and kissed her softly and she kissed him back; her lips caressing his and his tongue caressing hers. They undressed each other slowly, kissing the bare flesh that was slowly being revealed. John pulled her closer, "We'll never be without each other..." he smiled.  
  
Aeryn shook her head, her eyes locked with his. "No..." she whispered.

* * *

Her eyes flickered open on the word "No." Still bleary eyed and confused form her dream, she rolled over to place an arm around a figure that was no longer there. "Crichton?" she asked, before she realized that it had in fact only been a dream. She sighed deeply, and stared at the now vacant spot that was once reserved for her mate.  
  
Crais' voice crackled over the comms. "Aeryn. Moya had just made contact with Talyn; he wants to see his mother again.  
  
Aeryn grabbed her bag and raced down to command. "Will I be able to leave before Moya detects my Prowler?" she asked. Now Moya had found Talyn, she knew Crichton would ask for Crais to help.  
  
"No Aeryn. I am afraid not."  
  
"Frell!" she cursed.  
  
"I am opening a comms link as not to raise suspicion. I will not mention your presence aboard Talyn." Crais reassured.  
  
Johns image flickered onto a holoscreen. "My boy Crais! Kinda surprised to see you alive...but we have a crisis aboard and we were wondering if you could help. Aeryn went missing on a reconnaissance a while ago..." he lied. "We hoped you and Talyn would help."  
  
"Of course Commander. Aeryn is a friend and we will do what we can to help. We will search on Talyn's long range sensors for any signs of her."  
  
"Great." John replied, "D'argo and I will be right over."  
  
"You I will permit, but not Ka D'argo."  
  
Aeryn glared at Crais, "Are you insane?" she hissed.  
  
"Crichton will not know you are here, unlike Ka D'argo, who would be able to detect your scent all over me from where we made...recreated."  
  
"Won't Crichton see my Prowler?" she asked, trying to avoid the fact she had slept with Crais.  
  
"No. Your Prowler has been sealed off in another section of the hangar. He will not know it is there."  
  
"And what am I supposed to do? Hide?" Aeryn said sarcastically.  
  
"No, but you should confine yourself to your quarters until it is safe enough to leave." Crais replied. He didn't want Aeryn being discovered almost as much as she didn't want to be. And after the previous night, he was reluctant to let her leave at all.  
  
Aeryn nodded, "I will take some food cubes seeing as we have no idea how long he will stay. Make sure he goes nowhere near my quarters okay?" She was giving up. She couldn't face Crichton. How could she explain why she was on Talyn? How could she face Crichton after what she'd done with Crais? She took enough food cubes, fellip nectar and water to last a few days.  
  
"Crichton has come aboard, get to your quarters." Crais informed Aeryn.

* * *

John Crichton had found his way to command, "Hey Crais."  
  
"Hello Commander." Crais replied. He was staring at the man that caused the woman he loved, so much pain. He fought back the overwhelming urge to kill him. But he knew deep down that if he killed Crichton, Aeryn would more than likely kill him, no matter how much she hated John at that moment.  
  
"So you got some quarters for me? I kinda figured I'd stay here until we found here."  
  
"Frell!" Aeryn exclaimed, listening to a one-way comms system. "Say no Crais..." she urged, although she knew he couldn't here her. "Come on..." she willed.  
  
"There are empty quarters on the top tier, I'll get a DRD to show you. I have something to attend to."  
  
"Cheers Crais." John said, forcing a smile.  
  
Anger overtook Aeryn as she heard those words. She fought down the urge to storm out of the room. Crais had knowingly given quarters to Crichton, the man she was trying to avoid. What the frell was he thinking? A sickening feeling built inside her. What if Crais asked Crichton to pay him for the information to where she was? She knew Crais put himself first and she knew Crichton would pay up. Unwillingly...but he would pay. Her thoughts were interrupted when the door to her quarters slid open...  
  
TBC... 


	5. Chapter 5

Aeryn turned around slowly, expecting to see an angry Crichton staring at her. She readied herself to inflict a Pantak jab and hoped she would get of Talyn before he regained consciousness and realised what had happened.  
  
"Aeryn, Crichton is now in his quarters I have allocated him. During the sleep cycle it should be safe for you to leave."  
  
She sighed with relief, "Thank you Crais..." she placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "...for everything." She lied.  
  
{Don't let her go}

"I have to Talyn... you know all she wanted was safe passage to the nearest commerce planet." Crais argued with the young ships subconscious.  
  
{But you love her}

"That is irrelevant." He turned to Aeryn, "Are you sure you will not stay?"  
  
She shook her head, "I'm sorry Crais. You know I cannot."  
  
"Very well," he replied handing her a Peacekeeper chip. "I have given you the coordinates to the nearest commerce planet where there will be someone to meet you. She will provide a hiding place until I can convince Crichton to let you go."  
  
Aeryn nodded silently and turned to continue packing. She smiled slightly at the memory for when she and Crichton had packed for their honeymoon, but the thought was quickly replaced by the one of being alone in her quarters in so much pain. All because Crichton had to get his frelling modules fixed. She placed a hand lightly on her abdomen and sat on the bed next to where he would of sat. At that moment grief overtook her. "I'm sorry..." she whispered weakly. "I miss you...I lost the last piece of you, the only thing I had left..." She blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall and rose up from the bed. She looked at herself in the mirror at the tears that now fell. 'Weak...pull yourself together Aeryn!' she told herself. She turned to face the bed and zipped up her bag. "It's too late now...I can't go back. Crichton will never forgive me for leaving him again...will never forgive me for what I have done..."

* * *

John seated himself beside the porthole in his makeshift quarters with his notebook. He was alone. Even Harvey hadn't bothered him since Aeryn had left, and right now a small part of him wished he was here. Some company is better that no company, he thought. He wished Aeryn was there right now, resting in his arms with her head against his shoulder. "Why...why couldn't I make her listen?" he thought out loud. He figured it was late and knew that Crais had already turned in for the night. 'Maybe a walk would clear my head a little?' he wondered. He left his notebook on the bed, and walked out of his quarters unknowingly towards that of Aeryn Sun's. Something inside compelled him and he didn't know what it was. There was a door to his right that urged him to enter, to walk through it. He waved a hand over the door control and walked into the empty room. Slightly puzzled by the untidy covers on the bed, he wandered over for a closer inspection. The bed was still warm and a nagging feeling ate inside him. He picked up the still warm cover to his nose and breathed in the scent deeply. Instantly he recognized it to be that of his mate. It smelt exactly like the covers in her quarters on Moya, and he knew she had been there. On the pillow he noticed three strands of long black hair and dark rage grew within him like he'd never felt before. Aeryn had been there. He ran off down the corridors of Talyn to Crais' quarters and burst in. "CRAIS YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU LIED TO ME..."  
  
Crais opened his eyes to find himself at the wrong end of a pulse pistol, "What is the meaning of this intrusion?"  
  
John glared at him bitterly, finger on the trigger, "You know very well Captain," he said the last part sarcastically. "...she was here..."  
  
"I am sure commander, I have no idea what you are talking about."  
  
"You lying bastard...Aeryn...she was here. I found her quarters...and you'd better have a good explanation to why you lied to me."  
  
Crais looked at Crichton with disgust, "After what you did to Officer Sun I found her in a bar, fatigued and offered her a place to sleep. She was insistent that I did not inform you of her whereabouts."  
  
"Your all heart." He replied sourly, "Where is she?" he asked, his blue eyes had turned ice cold.  
  
"She has probably left by now for the commerce planet." Crais' informed, trying to keep all smugness out of his voice.  
  
"Damn it..." he said before running out of the quarters and heading for the hangar.

* * *

Aeryn threw her bag into her Prowler once more, and climbed into the cockpit. She closed the hatch, and did up her harness tightly before turning on the engines. Placing the Peacekeeper chip into the slot she called up the coordinates that Crais had provided and punched them into the navigator. Half of her was saddened to leave, but now Crichton was on the ship she had no choice. It was either leave or kill him, and she still cared for him far too much to take the latter option. As the engines roared into life, she engaged the thrusters, just as John had entered the hangar.  
  
"Aeryn...wait!" he called after her. But his call was in futile, as he watched her Prowler fly out of the hangar doors.  
  
Aeryn sighed with relief. She had heard Crichton's call, but her sensors showed no crafts following her. She had made a relatively clean escape again, but she had the feeling in the future she might not be so lucky.

* * *

Back in his quarters, Crais was formulating a plan. He wasn't going to let her get away that easily. "Talyn, engaged long range communications." He waited for a microt.  
  
"Crais?" a female voice said.  
  
"Neeha, I have a proposition for you."  
  
"You do?" The voice asked.  
  
"It involves the Sebacean woman that I told you about. She is on course to the planet and should be there within a matter of arns." Crais replied.  
  
"You want me to kill her?"  
  
"No..." Crais almost shouted, "I want you to keep her there until her mate comes looking for her."  
  
There was a crackle, "But I thought you were her mate?"  
  
"Not yet..." he replied in a hushed voice. "But she will be with your help. Keep her there until her mate comes looking, then if everything goes to plan, I will show up a few arns later. Make sure you somehow get Officer Sun and Commander Crichton to meet... when I arrive I will confront Aeryn privately about the night we slept together...only I want Crichton to hear it. Do you think you can set that up?"  
  
There was a gap before the communication finally got through, "Why would you want me to do that?"  
  
"When Crichton hears that Aeryn has slept with me, all trust and any signs of forgiveness will be completely severed. Crichton will end his marriage to Officer Sun, leaving me to pick up the pieces and hopefully within time, she will fall in love with me, and will love me as much as I love her." Crais smiled at the thought. Officer Sun would be his. He would no longer have to be jealous of Crichton; A lesser species than his own and the one that had always ruined his chances of being the life mate of Aeryn Sun.  
  
TBC... 


	6. Chapter 6

Aeryn lay in a grim room in a hotel somewhere on the commerce planet. She had a tankard of Raslak, of which she already had drunk half. This room reminded her of the one on Valdon. Dark and damp with a musty sweaty smell. She shivered and pulled a coverlet around her shoulders. At least she had somewhere to stay, although she thought Crais would have given her the location of a better hotel. Her hair was messy and unbraided and her leathers had become grimy and were in need of a wash, but she wouldn't do it here for the fear of catching something like heppicus. She took another swig of the raslak she had poured into a silver tumbler. Hundreds of thoughts blurred in her mind, she was surely being irrational, but decided she had the right to be after going through what she did alone. She knew what it was, she felt it before when she lost John on Talyn. Grief and depression. Grief over losing the tiny life that used to grow inside her. Depression for the way Crichton had treated her. Surely she had the right to do what she had done. Half of her just wanted to collapse in her husband's arms, the other half wanted to punish him for leaving her when she needed him. For blaming her for his not being there when he was insistent that he had to leave. "FRELL HIM!" She cried out, kicking a table across the room and punching a wall so hard it dented. She kept mindlessly punching the wall until she saw blood on her knuckles, and collapsed sobbing on her bed. She cried into a pillow. She was alone and there was no one there to see how weak she had become. She heard the door to her room open, and spinning around pulled out her pulse pistol. She recognized the silhouette immediately, and slowly holstered her weapon. "John." She said blankly. She was fed up with running, from being free from Crichton's overprotectiveness. All she wanted was to run into his arms, but anger stopped her.  
  
"Aeryn..." John stepped in and closed the door behind him.  
  
"No... don't come near me." Her eyes had glazed into an icy stare.  
  
"Aeryn...please...we need to talk." He took a chance and stepped forward.  
  
Aeryn shook her head, "That's all your frelling species ever does is talk...so why don't you shut up and listen to me for once." Aeryn barked.  
  
John sat down slowly. "Aer..."  
  
"Shut up. Just shut the frell up. I am fed up with you John Crichton. Fed up! Do you remember the day I lost our baby? Do you? Because I do! It replays in my mind every frelling day. I begged you to stay that morning remember? I pleaded with you. I said 'John something feels wrong. Please stay with me' and you...YOU just say 'I can't baby, my module needs fixing. Just rest and you'll feel better' and you know what. I reluctantly said yes. I said yes because I know how frelling important that piece of dren is to you. And while you were on the commerce planet..." she paused to breath, and looked sadly into his eyes.  
  
"Baby..."  
  
"No! Let me finish!" she snapped. "I was there on my own in our quarters while you and the rest of the damn crew were on that commerce planet. I just lay there writhing in pain all alone. And when I said there was something wrong you just reply "Kinda in the middle of something babe." And I was there all alone, bleeding badly, in tears...and in the end all I remember..." a deep sob emerged from deep with in her throat as the memories she had tried so hard to block came back. "The last thing I remember was...feeling hot, like I had heat delirium again, seeing the tiny body of our daughter and all that blood. And then YOU..." she spat. Her eyes flashed with anger "YOU COME BACK AND BLAME ME FOR NOT MAKING YOU STAY..." her hand reached for her pulse pistol. "You know if I didn't love you I'd shoot you right there where you stand. You deserve it... I tried Crichton; I tried to make you stay and you didn't listen to me. You know what else?" she smiled in a way that sent a shudder down John's spine. It was an angry smile. A smile that a killer would smile just before murdering someone in cold blood. "The day after you were fussing all over me, making me feel even worse with your "Don't worry honey..." and then wondering why the strong Ex- Peacekeeper you fell in love with was coping so badly. Do you know what? I knew it wasn't my fault, but you made me feel like it was..." She turned to look out of the window at the starry sky. Her voice softened, "I just had to leave...I couldn't take it anymore..."  
  
John's eyes filled with tears and he walked over to take her into his arms. He felt her fall into them immediately as her legs gave way from under her. He sat next to her on the floor, and ran his hands through her messy hair. Turning her head to face his he kissed her deeply. "Oh God...baby..." he kept repeating as he felt her heavy sobs against his chest. "Why..." he asked weakly, also crying himself, "Why didn't you tell me? We could of sorted this whole misunderstanding out..."  
  
Aeryn sobs subsided and she looked up at him, "Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding?"  
  
"That morning you asked me to stay... I just figured you had morning sickness. You were like that most days if you remember?"  
  
She nodded. "Your right...but what about when I tried to comm you?"  
  
"I was at the wrong end of a weapon because Sparky stole something..." John brushed her cheek. "When I got back and saw you lying there unconscious it broke my heart. I thought I'd lost you... and when you finally came round and I asked you why you hadn't made me stay because I knew if I had been there just to hold you, then you wouldn't have suffered so much."  
  
Aeryn sighed deeply, clinging on to John's now damp t-shirt. "I'm sorry for everything..."  
  
He shook his head and pulled her closer to him, "No Aeryn... I'm sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about..." he was about to kiss her again when the door to the room burst open. They both stood up, pulse pistols aimed at the figure.  
  
"On the contrary Commander..." Crais said, strolling into the room. This was not the way he planed it, but at least this way he would get to see the reaction of Crichton. He looked Aeryn in the eye, "Are you going to tell him or shall I?" Crais asked.  
  
TBC... 


	7. Chapter 7

"Tell me what Aeryn?" John asked, staring from Aeryn to Crais.  
  
Seeing the pulse pistols still aimed at him and knowing he was risking death from what he was about to say, he shot the pulse pistols from their hands. "Well Aeryn?" Crais asked with a false warm smile. "Aren't you going to tell Commander Crichton here what you have been lying to him about?"  
  
Aeryn looked furious at him, "Frell off Crais!" she warned. She knew if Crichton found out it would kill him and there probably would be no chance of fixing their broken relationship.  
  
"Now that's no way to speak to your lover is it?" he asked. He enjoyed watching the chain reaction on Crichton and Aeryn's face. Aeryn would finally be his. She'd have no choice. Crichton would never want him near her again now.  
  
John's face went pale, "You lying cockroach!" he spat.  
  
"On the contrary Commander, it is Aeryn that has lied to you. We have been intimate for cycles now."  
  
"It was just ONCE!" Aeryn retorted, without thinking. She went to hit him but Crais blocked it, knocking her back.  
  
John's heart sank and shattered to a thousand pieces. "Aeryn?" he asked, his voice becoming shaky, "Is...is it true?" He hoped to God the answer was no.  
  
She sighed deeply and sat down, "I was intoxicated and needed to talk...he was just there. He kissed me and I just couldn't think straight..."  
  
"You mean he took advantage?" he growled.  
  
Aeryn looked up at him, "Yes John...I suppose you could say that. But I promise you it was just once." She buried her head in her hands. She didn't know what to expect. John probably hated her even more now, but she was surprised when he came over to hold her. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, before he turned to face Crais. "You bastard...why?" he gave a disgusted look. He knew Crais would never change, and wondered why Aeryn had been so blind to it. It took all his strength from hitting him, and maybe it was also because he had a pulse pistol aimed at them.  
  
"She needed me after what YOU did to her!" Crais replied, "And I love her far more than you ever could...she belongs with me, not a lesser species like you. I am unsurprised she left you in the end."  
  
He glared at Crais, "Love? I'll tell you about love... I love Aeryn more than ANYTHING. I would die for her, I would do anything for her, and I would even kill for her. She is the centre of my universe, my guide and my wife and nothing can or will change that. You think love is just sex, you Bilar, you have no idea what love is..." Crichton could take it no more. He lunged at his nemesis, but Crais was faster and shot him in his leg and lower stomach.  
  
"NO!" Aeryn cried. She was quickly at John's side and cradled him in her arms. "Stay with me John. You will not give up on me." She quickly found her pulse pistol and aimed it at Crais. "Why Crais? Why did you have to shoot him? He was unarmed! You are poison Crais, everything you do, you do for yourself. You know John's right...you haven't changed, and as for love, you wouldn't know it if it bit you on the eema. I should shoot you dead, but I know Talyn needs you or he will kill many people in panic. Just go."  
  
"But Aeryn, I do love you. I love you more than Crichton ever could..." Crais protested. "From being bonded to Talyn I understand the need for companionship, the need to be with someone."  
  
"Dren. That is dren Crais and you know it. I told you I loved him, I told you and you still go and try to frell everything for me. Now go before I change my mind and kill you. I know Talyn would probably be better off..."  
  
"Please Aeryn. I know we could make this work. We could start again..."  
  
Aeryn shot and missed deliberately. "Next time I won't miss!" She hissed.  
  
Crais turned away sadly and pulse blasts hit him in his leg and shoulder, "I didn't say I wouldn't shoot you." Aeryn said coldly. As she watched Crais limp away.  
  
He wasn't going to turn back. He had lost her to a lesser species, and he knew she would never forgive him. It was true he still loved her and always would, and now he understood love more than ever. Nothing could come between it no matter how hard it tried.  
  
John turned her attention back to John she noticed he was still conscious. "Hold still." She said as she ripped a part of a sheet and tied it tightly around the leg wound. "This should stem the bleeding. She ripped off another piece of sheet and held it to the stomach wound. "Is Moya nearby?"  
  
John nodded weakly. "They are orbiting this planet. I made sure before I came down in case I had to drag you back unconscious." He smiled slightly, and stroked Aeryn's cheek, "Kiss me..." he said simply.  
  
Aeryn smiled and lent down and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. "You know...when I was with Crais, I called him John."  
  
"You did?" he asked.  
  
She nodded quietly. "I'm sorry I left you..." She lay her head on his chest avoiding the injury, and he wrapped an arm around her. She was glad of the warmth. In this dingy hotel room, he was the one thing that was good about the horrid place.  
  
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you." He replied. He was glad he had her back. He knew it would take time to heal the wounds, but at least they had taken the first steps towards healing their relationship.  
  
Fin. 


End file.
